Why can I not have an easy life?
It's constant arguing now. John bunking school. Or John leaving soiled clothes around the house.
How can I bring a child into this? It's not fair on it.
My first scan went really well. They've told us that it's due on October 15th. Everything is progressing as it should be.
Neil was going to take me out for my birthday but because he found a video of me masturbating on my phone he's adamant that I'm having an affair. Bloody hell he's even pointing the finger at his mates. There's not a single one that I'm interested in.
That's twice now he's questioned the paternity of my baby. If I didn't love him so much I'd show him the door. I can not take all this hassle.
That's two special occasions he's now spoilt due to his unreal jealousy. It's unbelievable.
Wednesday, 28 August 2013
March 2008
During David's visit there was an almighty fight between myself and my youngest son John.
John had a habit of doing unmentionable things. Because of this I chased him up the stairs to his bedroom. We stood at the top of the stairs arguing. All of a sudden John went to push me down the stairs.
Thankfully I have quick reactions and I managed to grab hold of the banister and stop myself from falling.
I text Neil, as he was at work, soon after that he rang so I explained what had happened.
Half an hour later Neil was home and again got very threatening towards John. I honestly believe if David had not stood in between them both Neil would have hit and hurt John.
I appreciate I was carrying Neil's first child but I also believe his behaviour was over the top.
From this day on it was like I had two families. Neil an I being one. John and I being the other.
Things got worse because two weeks later Neil started demanding DNA tests to be done on my unborn baby as he was adamant he was not the baby's dad. You can imagine the effect this had on me.
Nearly a month on from finding out I'm pregnant and things are no better.
Things are getting worse where John is concerned. The atmosphere in the house is unbearable.
John had a habit of doing unmentionable things. Because of this I chased him up the stairs to his bedroom. We stood at the top of the stairs arguing. All of a sudden John went to push me down the stairs.
Thankfully I have quick reactions and I managed to grab hold of the banister and stop myself from falling.
I text Neil, as he was at work, soon after that he rang so I explained what had happened.
Half an hour later Neil was home and again got very threatening towards John. I honestly believe if David had not stood in between them both Neil would have hit and hurt John.
I appreciate I was carrying Neil's first child but I also believe his behaviour was over the top.
From this day on it was like I had two families. Neil an I being one. John and I being the other.
Things got worse because two weeks later Neil started demanding DNA tests to be done on my unborn baby as he was adamant he was not the baby's dad. You can imagine the effect this had on me.
Nearly a month on from finding out I'm pregnant and things are no better.
Things are getting worse where John is concerned. The atmosphere in the house is unbearable.
Friday, 16 August 2013
February 2008
Due to the constant hassle with the neighbours Gentoo decided to move use to the East End of Sunderland. We was just waiting to hear when we would get the keys. They also decided to refer john to a group that dealt with kids that caused anti social behaviour. The group was called DISC. Neil's appointment to go the hospital and masturbate into a tub so that he could have his sperm count checked. I went with him but he did not want me to go into the room to give him a helping hand.
I had to got to Grindon Walk In Centre to have a scan on my ovaries as I had problems with Ovarian Cysts. I remember the Sonographer asking me what in fact I was there for.
On Friday 15th February I picked up the keys to the new house and because of Tim's teasing about bumps I decided to buy a pregnancy test.
I did the test during the early evening as I was too nervous to wait until the morning.
I pissed on the stick like your meant too. Waited for like five minutes. Then I looked.
I wasn't too sure with the result so I took a picture and sent it to my former Sister-In-Law Sue Oakes. I got a return text from her congratulating me.
I was really nervous about telling Neil. He was at work and I did not know whether to text him, ring him or leave it until he got home. In the end I decided to text him, I was too excited and could not keep it to myself any longer. He did not believe me at first so I decided to text him the picture I'd sent Sue.
In return I received a video of him doing a daft dance around work.
The next morning we went round to his parents house and informed them that the wedding was cancelled as I was not willing to tie the knot whilst heavily pregnant. His dad sobbed bless him.
We had to be into the new house by lunchtime on Monday 18th February. It was hard going. We borrowed the works van again on the Sunday and got the move sorted. Neil drove it. His dad and sister and John did the moving as they refused to allow me to lift anything.
Two weeks later my eldest son came for a visit.
I had to got to Grindon Walk In Centre to have a scan on my ovaries as I had problems with Ovarian Cysts. I remember the Sonographer asking me what in fact I was there for.
On Friday 15th February I picked up the keys to the new house and because of Tim's teasing about bumps I decided to buy a pregnancy test.
I did the test during the early evening as I was too nervous to wait until the morning.
I pissed on the stick like your meant too. Waited for like five minutes. Then I looked.
I wasn't too sure with the result so I took a picture and sent it to my former Sister-In-Law Sue Oakes. I got a return text from her congratulating me.
I was really nervous about telling Neil. He was at work and I did not know whether to text him, ring him or leave it until he got home. In the end I decided to text him, I was too excited and could not keep it to myself any longer. He did not believe me at first so I decided to text him the picture I'd sent Sue.
In return I received a video of him doing a daft dance around work.
The next morning we went round to his parents house and informed them that the wedding was cancelled as I was not willing to tie the knot whilst heavily pregnant. His dad sobbed bless him.
We had to be into the new house by lunchtime on Monday 18th February. It was hard going. We borrowed the works van again on the Sunday and got the move sorted. Neil drove it. His dad and sister and John did the moving as they refused to allow me to lift anything.
Two weeks later my eldest son came for a visit.
January 2008
The New Year came and went. John returned home. Things seemed quiet for a little while.
Neil and I discussed our wedding. I had mentioned either getting married 4th October 2008 or leaving it until October 4th 2014. We both decided we would prefer it to be sooner rather than later so we settled on October 2008.
I was resigned to the fact that it would be me paying for everything because I already was.
I rang the registry office and provisionally booked Saturday 4th October 2008.
My friend Tim's girlfriend was a dress maker so I spoke to her about making my wedding dress. She agreed.
Tim teased me an said he'd get her to get extra material for my bump.
I started getting books on weddings and wedding dresses. Making lists of people that I would invite. Making lists of things that we would need like invitations, flowers and such like. Neil on the other hand did nothing.
We was also having visits to the doctor about conceiving a baby as we had been trying for 8 months and nothing had happened. We was also waiting for appointments for tests with the hospital.
Neil and I discussed our wedding. I had mentioned either getting married 4th October 2008 or leaving it until October 4th 2014. We both decided we would prefer it to be sooner rather than later so we settled on October 2008.
I was resigned to the fact that it would be me paying for everything because I already was.
I rang the registry office and provisionally booked Saturday 4th October 2008.
My friend Tim's girlfriend was a dress maker so I spoke to her about making my wedding dress. She agreed.
Tim teased me an said he'd get her to get extra material for my bump.
I started getting books on weddings and wedding dresses. Making lists of people that I would invite. Making lists of things that we would need like invitations, flowers and such like. Neil on the other hand did nothing.
We was also having visits to the doctor about conceiving a baby as we had been trying for 8 months and nothing had happened. We was also waiting for appointments for tests with the hospital.
November - December 2007
I did not think things could get any worse than they had been, but how wrong was I.
Constant arguments between the 3 of us.
John kept throwing it at me how I'd abandoned him the year before. Which would get me in a mess which in turn would piss Neil off and make him have a go at John.
I know I did wrong the year before and if I could turn the clock back I would and I'd have done things differently, but sadly I could not turn the clock back.
The hassle from the neighbours got worse.
Neil's car kept having the tyres slashed which cost a fortune to replace.
Any trouble in the neighbourhood would get blamed on John. Which made the anti social behaviour officer visit more often. It was a complete nightmare.
I remember going out one night for a couple hours with Neil and the lads. I got home to a missing John. My kitchen was trashed and I had approximately £500 worth of jewellery missing out of my room. My bedroom window was open (which was closed when I left).
The police was called and John was arrested. He gave the names of two other lads that he'd allowed in the house in my absence. They all got NFA'd
Turns out they had been using my kitchen to bake space cakes.
The jewellery mysteriously started reappearing too.
John ended up going back to Leicestershire and staying with friends for the Christmas period.
Constant arguments between the 3 of us.
John kept throwing it at me how I'd abandoned him the year before. Which would get me in a mess which in turn would piss Neil off and make him have a go at John.
I know I did wrong the year before and if I could turn the clock back I would and I'd have done things differently, but sadly I could not turn the clock back.
The hassle from the neighbours got worse.
Neil's car kept having the tyres slashed which cost a fortune to replace.
Any trouble in the neighbourhood would get blamed on John. Which made the anti social behaviour officer visit more often. It was a complete nightmare.
I remember going out one night for a couple hours with Neil and the lads. I got home to a missing John. My kitchen was trashed and I had approximately £500 worth of jewellery missing out of my room. My bedroom window was open (which was closed when I left).
The police was called and John was arrested. He gave the names of two other lads that he'd allowed in the house in my absence. They all got NFA'd
Turns out they had been using my kitchen to bake space cakes.
The jewellery mysteriously started reappearing too.
John ended up going back to Leicestershire and staying with friends for the Christmas period.
October 2007
Well things went from bad to worse during this period in time.
We was all living on top of each other in a one bedroom flat.
Neil and John initially bonded really well because I would go to the R.A.O.B club in Millfield and play bingo with Neil's parents on a Sunday night and the boys would stay home and have guy nights with pizza and xbox games and even lager.
This sadly did not last for long and the two of them started arguing a lot. Neil started moaning about John eating so much food so he stopped buying it. So in the end Neil never contributed anything to the household. Which made it a struggle for me to provide for 3 of us.
Things of mine started disappearing and we found them in among John's belongings.
Neil's attitude towards John changed, which led to John taking things out on me, which in turn made Neil's attitude towards John even worse.
We was set to go out for our first anniversary when Neil caused an argument between us. Neil had gone through my mobile and found some pornographic photo's on my mobile. It was a so called friend thinking he would try causing trouble for me. It worked because Neil accused me of having an affair.
Mid October Gentoo moved us to a maisonette in Azalea Avenue, in Ashbrook, Sunderland. It was a nice 3 up, 2 down kind of place.
Tim Owens borrowed the works van and moved as much stuff as he could for us, and Neil did the rest in his car.
Things started off really good but it did not last for long.
John refused to go school and continued stealing stuff from me. He got in with a rough group of people and then fell out with them.
They stared causing that much hassle for us that I had the anti social behaviour officer out on a weekly/fortnightly basis.
John was that bad towards me on one occasion that Neil lost it completely. He cornered John against the wall and went to punch him. Instead he punched the wall because I warned him that John would get what he wanted if Neil hit him, so instead of Neil punching John he punched the wall.
We was all living on top of each other in a one bedroom flat.
Neil and John initially bonded really well because I would go to the R.A.O.B club in Millfield and play bingo with Neil's parents on a Sunday night and the boys would stay home and have guy nights with pizza and xbox games and even lager.
This sadly did not last for long and the two of them started arguing a lot. Neil started moaning about John eating so much food so he stopped buying it. So in the end Neil never contributed anything to the household. Which made it a struggle for me to provide for 3 of us.
Things of mine started disappearing and we found them in among John's belongings.
Neil's attitude towards John changed, which led to John taking things out on me, which in turn made Neil's attitude towards John even worse.
We was set to go out for our first anniversary when Neil caused an argument between us. Neil had gone through my mobile and found some pornographic photo's on my mobile. It was a so called friend thinking he would try causing trouble for me. It worked because Neil accused me of having an affair.
Mid October Gentoo moved us to a maisonette in Azalea Avenue, in Ashbrook, Sunderland. It was a nice 3 up, 2 down kind of place.
Tim Owens borrowed the works van and moved as much stuff as he could for us, and Neil did the rest in his car.
Things started off really good but it did not last for long.
John refused to go school and continued stealing stuff from me. He got in with a rough group of people and then fell out with them.
They stared causing that much hassle for us that I had the anti social behaviour officer out on a weekly/fortnightly basis.
John was that bad towards me on one occasion that Neil lost it completely. He cornered John against the wall and went to punch him. Instead he punched the wall because I warned him that John would get what he wanted if Neil hit him, so instead of Neil punching John he punched the wall.
The next day we found out that Neil had fractured his hand due to his actions.
June to September 2007
A random night out wearing the original dress Neil bought for out Engagement.. Bought the second one because we both wanted me dressed in red.
June until September 2007 is a bit of a blur to be honest.
I had that much going on with numerous visits to Leicester County Court fighting for residence of my son John. I remember the DWP paying for the travelling expenses.
I remember Children's Services paying for Neil and I to stay in the top hotel in Ashby De La Zouch so that we could see John. I also remember that weekend not going too well because John got himself arrested for criminal damage to his fathers house and Neil having to act as his responsible adult.
I remember having to go for an appeal hearing at Wessington Way in Sunderland because the DWP tried taking me off the sick. Neil attended the hearing with me as I was in a right state. We had to explain about the constant trips too and from Leicester for hearings. They overruled the DWP's decision.
I also remember going out one night with Neil and the lads. It was awful. Neil's attitude towards me stunk. He told me to FUCK OFF so I did. I went straight back home. I text him while I was waiting at the bus stop and telling him NOT to bother coming back to the flat and to go home to his mum's.
He refused to listen and came back to the flat. I refused to let him in and because I refused to let him in he accused me of having a bloke in the flat with me. I can assure you I did not.
The next day he brought his father round and emptied the flat of his belongings.
September 27th I had a hearing in Leicester where I won residence of John because Children's Services put in a report saying he would be better off with me.. His father must have realised that was going to be the out come as he bought all John's belongings to the court with him.
While waiting for the return train home I rang my housing manager informing her that my son was returning with me and I needed rehousing.
June until September 2007 is a bit of a blur to be honest.
I had that much going on with numerous visits to Leicester County Court fighting for residence of my son John. I remember the DWP paying for the travelling expenses.
I remember Children's Services paying for Neil and I to stay in the top hotel in Ashby De La Zouch so that we could see John. I also remember that weekend not going too well because John got himself arrested for criminal damage to his fathers house and Neil having to act as his responsible adult.
I remember having to go for an appeal hearing at Wessington Way in Sunderland because the DWP tried taking me off the sick. Neil attended the hearing with me as I was in a right state. We had to explain about the constant trips too and from Leicester for hearings. They overruled the DWP's decision.
I also remember going out one night with Neil and the lads. It was awful. Neil's attitude towards me stunk. He told me to FUCK OFF so I did. I went straight back home. I text him while I was waiting at the bus stop and telling him NOT to bother coming back to the flat and to go home to his mum's.
He refused to listen and came back to the flat. I refused to let him in and because I refused to let him in he accused me of having a bloke in the flat with me. I can assure you I did not.
The next day he brought his father round and emptied the flat of his belongings.
September 27th I had a hearing in Leicester where I won residence of John because Children's Services put in a report saying he would be better off with me.. His father must have realised that was going to be the out come as he bought all John's belongings to the court with him.
While waiting for the return train home I rang my housing manager informing her that my son was returning with me and I needed rehousing.
Engagement Cards
From Mam and Dad..
From Tracie and Kev..
From Barbara and John
From Kev, Donna and Declan..
From Tania and John..
From Tinker..
From Anita and Steve..
From Laway and Pots (I apologise if incorrect but not able to read writing properly)
From Sandra and Brian..
From Dawn..
From Leigh, Kayla, Georgia and Shannon..
Gift Bag
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