June 2008

Well he did it. He finally pushed me into the arms of another man.
I'm not proud of what I've done but I can't take the constant accusations of having affairs. If I'm being accused of it I may as well teach him a lesson and go and do it.
I didn't do it just because of the accusations. It was due to the neglect. I'm here having his child but it's like the baby and  i don't exist.
He doesn't come home til it's bed time. He refuses to eat what I cook. He's making life uncomfortable between John and I.

He refuses to be in the same room as John. As soon as John comes into the house Neil scurries of up to the bedroom and completely ignores me until I go and John him. Any wonder John carries on the way he does when Neil completely blanks him and wants me to do the same.

One Sunday we're heading to his mother's (minus John because Neil has band him from going). It's raining hard and Neil being his usual speed freak of a self with his driving smashes into the arse of a brand new Nissan Quashqi. He's going about 50mph in a 30 zone. (I've always been afraid of speeding cars since I was in an Road Traffic Collision 16 years previously).
Neil was more concerned about his car and the car he hit than he was of me and our unborn child. It took him 20 minutes to even remember we was in the car. Instead of doing what any caring partner would do and take me to the hospital he just took me to his mothers. I got more sympathy from her than I did him.

I should have realised that day that he didn't care about me or my baby but I swore to myself I would never be a single parent again so I stuck it out.

That was the start of my problems during my pregnancy. I couldn't sit down for long. I couldn't walk far. I Was in constant pain but still he did nothing.